Congo Chronicle 5: The Monkey Men! (More Fun Comics #60)

As threatened - - err, I mean, promised,  nosey tagalong Gloria Desmond didn't disappear into thin air ....at least not yet.

Well, sister, if it's thrills and adventure you're after, you found it and how!

Bill leads the way across a treacherous ravine, where he is ambushed by a ferocious "monkey-man", with a mighty "EE-EE-YA!"

Professor Kent, after all their recent squabbles, is reassuringly wild with rage and grief at the capture of his adventuring companion!

Bill, meanwhile, is surprised to find that the leader of the monkey-men is a white man - who has been fooled into thinking he himself is a monkey-man because of his long beard.

The law of the Jungle has no time for misdirection, so naturally it's quickly determined that the strange bearded gentleman is Gloria's father...but what's this?

Bill's field medic training (he was a World War I Air Ace, as you recall) leads him to a quick diagnosis!

Heh heh heh.  "Unbuckle my cartridge belt."  Smooth, Bill! But don't forget the first law of the jungle, Girls Are Gross!  Plus, your cavalier flirtation with Gloria Desmond has prompted Professor Kent to start shooting up the place!

Now that Professor Kent has slaughtered the last traces of a previously-unknown-to-science bipedal hominid species, we can wrap up the story and get back to adventuring.  Turns out that Mr. Desmond's survival is all on account of his luxurious beard!

And speaking of beards, get a load of that last panel.  Ick, girls have no place in he-man adventuring!  Thankfully Gloria Desmond is never seen or heard from again.  But, you'll see the sad result of Bill's flirtatious ways in the very next installment.....

Congo Chronicle 4: Gloria Desmond's Quest!

Well, we knew their He-Man paradise couldn't last. Along comes little miss Gloria Desmond in More Fun Comics #59 to foul things up - just like a girl.

"Yes, missy, we are, and don't you forget it! Meanwhile, why don't you give us some endless exposition about you and your problems?"
Bill, ever itching for action as usual, has to be reminded - quite snippily, I must assume - that he's part of a partnership!

One good thing this adventure has to offer - more information on Bill's mysterious background!
Assuming he was 16 or 17 when he flew in World War I (a manly man of action like our Bill would have certainly lied about his age!) that would make Bill....gadzooks! Pushing 40 and still fit as a fiddle!

The plane lands and is soon spotted by a group of savage "Horned Tondurs".
For the record, I can find no evidence that a tribe called the "Horned-Tondurs" ever really existed. The foolish natives, completely oblivious to the marvels of the modern world, makes a fatal - - gaaaaaah! This was a comic book?!? For KIDS???!!!?
Oh, well, it was just a savage. And despite the injury to their chief the filthy moon-worshippers capture Gloria and spirit her away!
Again for the record - several moon-worshipping tribes do inhabit Central Africa, in particular the Baganda tribe - but I can't vouch for the sacrifice business.

Nonetheless, Congo Bill knows there is only one way to rescue Gloria - impersonate their Moon-God by wearing nothing but an aviator's helmet and his underwear!
Well, unless he's a very good actor, he must appear old enough to be her father - so maybe 40's not so off the mark? Bill solidifies his act with an 11 o'clock number, his "Hymn to the Moon God".......
...I don't make this stuff up, folks.

The episode ends with Gloria being brutally murdered by the sava....oh, wait, no, that didn't happen. The episode ends with Gloria flying off in triumph with Congo Bill and Professor Kent, vowing to pester them some more - but what's this? It actually seems to be Professor Kent's idea? Perhaps their separate vacation was more of a warning sign than we guessed!

Now, let's take a moment to recap what we've learned about the manly and mysterious Congo Bill:
He was an air ace in World War I;
He can sing (I imagine a rich, masculine baritone timbre, don't you?);
He wears briefs;
He could be Irish;
He's a picky eater;
He has a fear of captivity.
Stay tuned as we continue to explore the myth and mystery of CONGO BILL!