Showing posts with label British Colonialists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label British Colonialists. Show all posts

5.26.2013

Congo Chronicle 26: The Man Of A Thousand Lives!

Well, we're right back into the thick of Nazi-fighting in the good ol' British-controlled Egyptian Sahara! Right away in the establishing panel, things aren't looking so good...but let's get to the bottom of things, shall we?



Seems a platoon of British boys are under attack from a mob of angry Arabs and their "foul Mu'min". Mu'min is a term from the Qu'ran meaning, literally, "faithful believer", so it seems our Church of England soldiers are none too keen on fellows of differing faiths!






In the nick of time, a plane strafes the battlefield, and out hops  Congo Bill, fresh from last month's Chinese adventure, and eager to spout off words that can be quickly translated into their foreign equivalents, and vice-versa! Seems the Egyptian bedouin, or nomadic tribes (see, I can do it, too!) have mysteriously been whipped into an anti-Allies fury by Allah-knows-who!
 Correction: Allah knows - - and so does the British spy who infiltrated the tribesmen. He's literally dying to utter his last words in the manly embrace of Congo Bill!

 Bill heads to Cairo and dons his white linen jacket and pipe, all the better to put his crack detective skills  into action...
And then - Gott in Himmel!  Has Bill turned Ratzi?!??
 The method behind Bill's madness will be revealed in due time - suffice to say he tracks the stranger to the underground offices of Mr. Hoffer, where he overhears a villainous plan laid out in classic 1940's comic-book-pidgin-Germanese!
But as we Congo Billions know by now, things rarely tie up so easily on page 3 of a 6-page story, so... KA-POW!
Bill wakes to, um....throbbing consciousness, and then....errr, squirms and strains and probes his pockets (listen folks, I didn't write it, I just report.)

And though his thoughts are surely only of warning the British about the plan, don't think he's forgotten how to deliver a good old fashioned Yankee smack down! Auf Wiedersehn, Adolf!
Bill tracks down the "Mu'min"and discovers, to no one's surprise who's been paying attention:
I mean, probably anyone would jerk to attention if a nattily-dressed American man shouted "Achtung" out of a Middle Eastern window, but whatever. Let's get back to beating the crap out of Nazis!
I know what you're thinking: "How is Congo Bill, noted man of action, going to create a lasting peace between the British soldiers and the riled-up bedouin?  Why, with diplomatic aplomb, silly!
And thus began the glorious era of American-Egyptian friendship and cooperation, and the end of using religion for treacherous causes. The end!

Congo Chronicle 17: Jungle Drums!

So, where were we? Ah, yes, Action Comics #41 finds Bill, Prof, and nosy tag-along Sheila "headed for the coast". Along the way, they stop at a British military post, where...

Who could be whipping the blacks into a frenzy? A huge white man, naturally!
Bill is going to get to the bottom of this in no time, and loyal Professor Kent will brook no argument, he's going with him! But, next morning, as on so many mornings before, a groggy Joe Kent rolls over to find a tear-stained note....
Well, Bill, suit yourself. But mark my words, your action-hungry ways might just cost you the security of a life on the fringes of academia if you're not careful!

The "huge white man" hears of Congo Bill's coming, and we find out his underlying motives for stirring up the natives...he's a dirty kraut!


When Bill arrives at the native village, Scheller dishes out the hospitality but our man of action ain't buying!

Bill challenges the Ratzi swine to hand-to-hand combat, in order to prove to the natives that no force is stronger than good ol' American brawn!

What follows are several scenes reminiscent of the fevered late-night dreams of yours truly, usually involving gladiators and/or at least three of the Baldwin brothers; suffice it to say the German sweinhund, though larger and stronger, is no match for the lithe American athleticism of Congo Bill!

Everyone knows the only way a Nazi can subdue one of our American boys is via teutonic trickery, and in a sneak attack Bill is pinned to the ground!

Just then, Professor Kent arrives by plane and rushes toward Bill's prostate...oh wait, no, I read that wrong....

Bill is safe, thanks to the sudden burst of manhood from Professor Kent, but what of Herr Scheller? Auf wiedersehn, Ratzi! Say 'guten tag' to a little something we like to call Jungle JUSTICE!

What's next for our heroes, will they ever make it to the "coast"? STAY TUNED!