5.25.2013

Congo Chronicle 8: The Jungle Scientist!

More Fun #63 (January 1941) gets the new year off to a rousing start as "close friends" Bill and Prof are "engaged" in "research":

Few comic book artists either, I guess, else someone might have known that it's the female lion that does the hunting, not the male....
Bill dispatches the hungry beast easily enough with his trusty sidearm, but just then, a...um....well, an old man wearing a turban and some type of Mormon holy garment emerges from the jungle!
What th- indeed, Professor!
What's that you say, Congo Bill?
Hmmm. Thought so.
The Mormon disappears and Bill and Prof forget all about him....that is, until.....
As you may have surmised by now, the Mormon Jungle Scientist is controlling the trees with the "weird perfume" that Congo Bill sniffed out earlier. The Scientist returns and leads the captives to his Jungle Laboratory which is shickoingly full of apparatus!
My friend Sue once told me about a friend of hers, an ex-Marine, who upon returning from the Vietnam War was hitchhiking cross-country with a fellow vet. A man picked them up and, at gunpoint, led them back to the basement of his house, which was also full of apparatus. The man then proceeded to strip naked and, again at gunpoint, forced the Marines to throw apples at him as forcefully as they could. True story.

Anyway, Bill and Prof find a girl locked up in the laboratory, who happens to be the Mormon Jungle Scientist's step-daughter. Why is she locked up, you ask?
Luckily, the gal has moxy, and has picked up just enough science to reproduce the tree-controlling weird perfume!
The trio escapes, the Mormon Jungle Scientist succumbs to an ironic demise at the limbs of his flesh-eating trees, and all is well with the world. And not a single apple had to be lobbed! We even dispose of little miss what's-her-name, leaving her in a village of top hat-wearing savages.
Oh, yeah - it took the Marines about three throws to knock the gun out of the guy's hand and kick his sorry ass. True story. Leading me to
CONGO BILL'S LIFE LESSON FOR TODAY: Don't hitchhike!

1 comment:

Rapidly approaching 40 said...

Can't a brother wear his turban and underwear in peace? Why does Congo Bill have to impose his anti-perfume agenda on the Mormons?

Apples, eh? I've heard stranger things.